About a year ago my son (who is now five) started having behavioral problems both at home and at school. He was at an age were kids test their limits, but he also decided that it was really uncool to sleep. We started to see monstrous tantrums that were characterized by hitting anything within his reach and throwing any object that he could lift. There was point when I took him out for a walk and within 10 yards from our home he got mad at something and started smacking and kicking our dog. At school, he started to do his talking with his fists: teachers as well as playmates fell victim to his fury.
It took us a few weeks, but we were able to get him turned around at home. It certainly helped when he started sleeping again.
He continued to have flare ups at school: throwing toys and hitting/kick classmates and teachers. There were some prolonged good periods, but we changed his schedule when I lost my job and his disruptive and aggressive behaviors seemed be more prevalent.
I am currently between jobs and I have a tiny bit of knowledge about behavioral modification. I had pondered some possible interventions. But I was loathe to implement any programs in the school, because I didn’t want my son’s behavior to be contingent on my (or my wife’s) presence or absence from the classroom.
His school’s model is to have the children work out their problems. If the conflict or outburst is particularly intense the child taken away by a teacher to another part of the room, or another room to “calm their body.” There are several children, including my son who are not prone to respond to this method. In my son’s case, he is not only unresponsive, often method seems to make him angrier. When he gets worked up, he seems to carry a grudge and tends to be prone to more bad behavior during the day.
Fortunately, my son’s godfather is a child behavior expert. He was been offering his talents in applied behavior analysis to children with developmental disabilities and autism for decades. He has recently begun work with abused kids and to implement behavioral modification programs in school systems comprised of children of low-ecomic privilege.
He said that it would not be a problem for me to implement the program for my own child then transition it to his teachers.
My friend had seen some videos of my son and said that correcting the behaviors would be “a cinch.” His answer was pretty much this “Extinction. Extinction. Extinction.”
OK…so we’re essentially talking about timeouts. Makes sense; we do those at home. That’s why we regained control of him after last year’s brief period of constant outbursts (it didn’t seem like a brief period when we were in the midst of it).
Timeout needed to be four minutes in duration. There should never be a condition involved such as ‘when you can stop yelling.” Child need to be removed from the context in which the negative behavior was occurring. Nobody (teachers, students, parents…) is to talk to the child during the timeout.
Here is the magic. If, and only if, a timeout is called and the child relocates to the timeout area within 10 seconds the timeout is 1 minute in duration. If he/she resists going the timeout is 4 minutes. No room for negotiation.
On Monday my son and I discussed that he would there would now be timeouts at school as there were at home I spoke to his teachers and we agreed that there would be two designated timeout areas.
Later Monday afternoon, I asked him which he liked better “short timeouts” or “long timeouts” His answer was a resounding “Short timeouts!” I explained to him what would constitute a short timeout and the conditions that would necessitate a long timeout.
On Monday evening. He was getting a surly with his mom when it was time to clean up his cars. I said “Timeout” and he vaulted up the stairs–from the basement to the 3rd floor—like an Olympic medalist. Just after one conversation.
Early in theweek while the teachers were reviewing their room real estate for timeout zones, the temporary area was the adult bathroom. I would be responsible for calling timeouts and for implementing them. Boy did I pay for that.
My friend had warned me about extinction bursts—where the negative behavior would temporarily increase both in both frequency and intensity. That is, behavior would temporarily get MUCH MUCH worse before it got better. Fortunately, I had been through this at home thus was prepared for an assault when timeout would become the norm at school.
On Tuesday was his first timeout and it was something like a CIA rendition. He didn’t budge, so I whisked him away to the bathroom and spent next four minutes with my son screaming at a pitch to curdle the blood. While flailing around he bumped his head on the door at one point and yowled “You’re popping my bones!!” I endured a flurry left jabs, uppercuts and roundhouse kicks to my thighs. All the time, I was silent and gently lifted back into the room’s corner each time he strayed.
He was tuckered out after four minutes of howling and pugilism. We stepped out and he put is teeth on my shoulder. He wasn’t actually biting me and had a smirk on his face, but still that act could not be tolerated. I didn’t get to ask my friend about back-to-back timeouts, but my parental decision was “Timeout” he resisted so I endured a less-ferocious four minutes in the bathroom.
On Wednesday, he got into a shoving match with one of his classmates. I called “Timeout” and he bolted to the bathroom. No screaming and no fisticuffs this time. In one minute he was back at play time, bearing no grudges.
Thursday and Friday were exceptionally good days for him so no timeouts were necessary.
There were a couple of timeout-worthy infractions at home over the weekend and in both cases, he went immediately to the designated timeout area.
Monday (today), we “went live” with “in-room” timeout areas. Timeout was called on my son three times; twice by me and once by the lead teacher when I was out of the room. In each case, he went immediately to a timeout area, thus they were all 1 minute in duration.
Boo-yah! Obstacle one seems to have been cleared. I was a little queasy-stomached about my son’s willingness to adhere to an in-room timeouts. However, he conformed in every case. We were especially pleased that he was so punctual when the timeout was ordered by the teacher.
I am going to be working to completely transition myself away from the classroom over the next few days. I expect that he’ll resist compliance if he ordered to a timeout by one of the assistant teacher as they seem to have less leverage over him than the lead teacher.
We are way too early in this project to label it a success, but all looks promising. I am keeping records of the frequency of targeted behavior to see how this program of behavioral extinction works to reduce problem behavior. I’ll keep you posted.